How do I speak with her about her abusive relationship?

My best friend is “in love” (or at least seriously involved with) a man who has been diagnosed with PTSD from his stint in the U.S. Military. The words “verbally abusive” don’t even begin to describe this man. The fact that he’s a drunk doesn’t help at all. She’s already thrown him out of her house and they’ve only been together about 3 months. But now he’s back, and honestly, I think it’s about the money.

My best friend is my boss. Her ex owns half of the company I work for. I try to stay out of everything, but somehow that never seems to work.

Today was the last straw. My boss’ boyfriend was screaming at me that I was a “leatherface”, “miserable cunt” and launched into his usual litany of “What have You ever done for your fucking country?”

With me at the time was my very sweet friend, who happens to be very openly gay (fine, call it flamboyant, but he is fabulous!). He also happens to be from the Phillipines originally, but was adopted when he was young and was raised by two fantastic parents here in the U.S. Today he was referred to by this individual as a “fucking faggot immigrant”.

Please let me say again that my best friend is my boss! I am seriously at a loss of what to even do at this point. I guess I’m just venting, but I know a lot of you Flutherites will have something to say about this!

Am I expected to keep pretending like this isn’t happening while my friend is slowly spiraling down the drain? And while he is draining her bank account? And isolating her from everyone that loves her? I know that’s the first sign that there’s a problem, but she can’t seem to “hear” me these days. I am truly scared for her well-being; I know, somehow, that he’s already hurt her physically. Yet she floats towards him like a moth to a flame. Do I have to watch her burn?

Can any of you offer any insight? Thanks – it will be much appreciated!