My mom creeps out little kids -- including my daughter. How do I deal?

My mom—she means well, but her mannerisms have always been awkward and I remember getting creeped out and not wanting to hug her as a kid. When she worked at a school library, most of the younger kids were nervous around her. Now she’s trying to get my daughter to hug her and she won’t. My daughter loves her grandma, and talks about her in a positive manner. But she does NOT want to hug her.

My mom blames me. She says I don’t take her around to see her often enough. But my dad only sees her once every other month and she’ll hug him. She also hugs my stepdad. She just doesn’t want to go near my mom. I think she gets the heebie jeebies.

My mom doesn’t get it. She’s not mean or anything, but she’s got that certain something about her. Cats and dogs get nervous around her too. She’s just that kind of person. I don’t really get it, but she’s always been that way. It’s something in her mannerisms I think. My husband thinks she might be slightly on the autistic spectrum (due to other things) and that little kids and dogs pick up on her not-so-natural manner. While it doesn’t creep out adults, I do know that her demeanor looks fake.. not dishonest.. but as if she were an alien trying to blend in with the humans. She always looks awkward and like she’s posing or pretending to do whatever it is she’s doing.

She’s also NOT the kind of person who takes criticism at ALL. So I can’t even delicately tell her that she’s creepy to little kids. And anyway.. how can you tell someone that? Even the most laid back person would probably get angry with that.

But I’m tired of my mom getting frustrated and yelling at me when my daughter doesn’t hug her. I’m tired of being put on the spot. I don’t know how to deal with this. Any thoughts?