To those of you whose partners possess different religious beliefs than you: how do/did you compromise when it comes to kids?

Asked by livelaughlove21 (15724) November 2nd, 2013 from iPhone

I wasn’t raised in a very religious household. My grandma is a church-going Christian and I was told about God and Heaven and Hell, but we never attended church and it wasn’t a big part of our life as a family. Now, my mother considers herself a religious woman, but she’s just a big hypocrite. Around the age of 20, 4 years ago, I began to question my beliefs. At this point, I have an agnostic view. Maybe God exists, but maybe not. I don’t know, and neither does anyone else.

My husband grew up with a Baptist background. They went to church, but they weren’t crazy Bible thumpers by any means. He’s never really questioned his beliefs. He believes in God because he always has, like most people here in the Bible Belt.

We don’t attend church, we don’t own Bibles, and we don’t ever really talk about religion. We got married last year and we plan on having children within the next couple of years. We’ve talked about the issues with religion and children in the past, but our conversation today made me think about how other people handle this.

What did/will/would you tell your kids about religion if you and your partner don’t share the same beliefs? Do you come to a compromise as to what you tell them when they ask certain questions (“what happens when you die?)?

We discussed telling them what we believe when they ask, but making it clear that that’s not the only possible answer and never suggest that the other parent is wrong. When they’re older, they’ll know what different people believe and they can make the decision for themselves. However, I know young children will be confused by this, as they cognitively search for all-or-nothing rules about life.

So, how did/would you handle this? If I’m concerned about this when neither of us have really strong beliefs either way, I can’t imagine how hard it would be for two devout people that have to make these decisions.