Thoughts/Ideas on 'rebounds.'?

This is long – if you would like to take time to read it, it means a lot – Thank you.)

So, a couple weeks ago, I broke up with my boyfriend. We have been dating for almost 4 years, but within the last year it’s been hard. My boyfriend sort of changed on me. He became very insecure, a little needy and couldn’t communicate with me realistically anymore. I felt like I lost my boyfriend, and no matter how much I tried to talk to him and support him, it didn’t work. I started to lose feelings and wasn’t sure if I could picture myself being with him forever.

He could feel that I was losing feelings, and we would talk about it. I didn’t want to lose feelings.. he was my best friend and we were really wonderful together. Conversation is so easy for us and we have so much in common, but unfortunately my heart just wasn’t feeling the same. This made him even more insecure, naturally, and he tried to ‘impress me’ to keep the relationship going by being overly affectionate, which only made me extremely aware that our relationship was getting off course.

So, this went on for almost a year, and I finally decided that our relationship wasn’t working out anymore. He couldn’t understand what he was doing, and I couldn’t keep him hanging around anymore hoping that my love would come back. When we broke up, it was very heartbreaking. It’s been a couple weeks, and I find myself missing him a lot; however, I know that at this point, we can’t be together. He really needs to be on his own, find himself, gain confidence in himself and figure out his life. He couldn’t with me because the fact that I was losing feelings made it worse.

It wasn’t until we broke up that he realized all of this. Our last conversation actually went very smooth. We had a nice chat about regular things, then got into the closure talk. He realized that he needed to work on himself, and that he needs to be on his own for a while to have that opportunity. He was very heart broken, and told me he couldn’t imagine being with anyone else. We both agreed that it wouldn’t even be possible for either of us to consider dating right now.. after a 4 year relationship (and we’ve known each other for 7 years).

Recently, he was tagged in a photo with a girl. This girl is actually someone he use to flirt with a lot before we started dating.. They haven’t talked in a couple years, and suddenly… there she is with him. It’s pretty obvious to me that they must be flirting again.. and hanging out obviously. Who knows what else they are doing.

It was very hurtful to find this out. I’m the one who ended it, yet I could not imagine flirting around with any guy – not for a while. It actually really angers me too because by latching on to another girl, he’s not giving himself the opportunity to be independent… he’s just depending on HER now to fill the void of me being gone. So, I figure this is him rebounding.

Yet.. I can’t help but wonder if something may come out of this. I keep telling myself that it’s not possible that a relationship could work out with this new girl only a couple weeks after our break up.. because it’s so soon and also because he still loves me. But it all still makes me feel so sick, and hurt. I wonder ‘what is he doing?’. I feel so disappointed.. I care for him so much, and I still have strong feelings. I was hoping that this break-up would end up saving us later. We even discussed speaking again in the future. But seeing this pictures just makes me want to run back to him and work things out.. but I know deep down that we would probably fall back into the same rut – which is so upsetting.

I can’t imagine getting into anything with anybody right now, so how could he be seeing this girl already?? Is this just a rebound or could he actually already be moving on? I haven’t even moved on. Or does this all show that he is still weak and unable to be alone.. Is this girl going to get hurt? I know the easy answer is for me to just move on and not pay attention, but it’s just natural to be confused.

So, I don’t really have a clear question on this – but I was just hoping for some opinions and thoughts from anyone who may have had a similar experience. Just letting this out and hearing from others will really help me come to terms with this, and move on – I hope.

If you’ve read all of this – Thank you.