How do you handle toxic or controlling family members?

I have been wanting to ask this question for days. Simply because my partner and I each have issues with our close family and are feeling pretty trapped by the whole situation. My SO’s family are more on the controlling side. They are just used to having him around as he was pretty much single his whole life. Now, they are sickly. He spends most of his time there carting them around to doctors etc., but when they are well they say he has abandoned them (for me). He cannot simply walk way. They also expect this they are not the type of parents to say ‘Don’t worry about us we will manage’. Instead they become indignant and all hell breaks lose when he tries to get on with his life. I never see him to be honest.

Mine is my son, who is abusive and very difficult. I have decided at this point to try and cut contact. It’s a long story I won’t bore you all with. Basically he has narcissistic type personality traits.

So the question is: How do you distance yourself from family members who have their own agendas and careless about you?

This question

inspired my asking. Steps to distance yourself and to get them to detach from you. This has culminated in a high crises situation for us both. (He will be reading the answers too).