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How do I help my boyfriend accept my past?

Asked by tashasudo (85points) February 3rd, 2014

Okay, about a year ago, I posted a question about my friend, Brian. He was very sarcastic and sort of had a difficult time opening up and letting down his emotional walls that he had put up. I really liked him but kept quiet because I didn’t know how he felt because he’s so difficult to read. Well, we hung out for about 8 months before he asked me on a date, and we started dating in late November. Everything has been really great. He is very sweet and attentive and he treats me so well. Well, recently, we have gotten to a more… physical point in our relationship… We sort of messed around a few times and all went well but I finally opened up to him a few days ago about my last ex and how he treated me.

He was older than me, and he would pressure me to have sex all the time and when I would say no, he would try to force me, and he treated me really badly. He would get drunk with his friends and they would call me names and treat me like garbage. The way he would try to force me into sex has kind of affected me in that I sort of shy away from most physical contact, but I trust Brian and I know he won’t hurt me. I opened up to him about this ex, anyways, though, and ever since, he has acted very strange. He treats me like I’m glass and he seems almost afraid to touch me. I’m just afraid that he won’t want to do anything with me now because he’s afraid of hurting me. Even doing something like putting his arm around me, he seems sort of nervous about it… I don’t know what to do. What do I tell him? And how come he’s been acting so strange?

By the way, I’m 20, and he is 23, if that makes any difference.

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