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How to let someone know that they've let you down and is it worth it in this situation?

Asked by kayrsf (7points) May 6th, 2014

A bit of a background story: I’ve been talking to this great guy since November. Things have been going really well, except that in February he was offered a great job that requires him to travel for a few months at a time. So far we’ve managed to make things work well from a distance.

His birthday was this past Friday and I wanted to surprise him. I baked a ton of his favorite cookies and brownies and shipped them to him. They arrived right on time for his birthday.

On Thursday night I stayed up late so I could wish him a happy birthday at midnight. He didn’t pick up my call, which wasn’t a big deal, since he usually works until 3 or 4 in the morning. I left him a nice voicemail and then sent him a really sweet text.

He has yet to acknowledge receiving any of my birthday messages. Now, I never do things for people expecting a great display of gratitude in return. I guess I just feel kind of stupid and dejected for putting all that time (took me about 2 days to bake all those cookies), money and effort into making sure that he felt special on his birthday since he’s so far from home, and yet he couldn’t make a bit of an effort to let me know that he received my messages.

I’m not a confrontational person and usually have trouble letting people know that they’ve hurt me so I usually find it easier to just let things go. However, I can’t deny the fact that I’m deeply hurt by his actions (or lack thereof) and think I should talk to him lest I allow myself to become resentful and eventually allow that resentement to poison our relationship.

This is the first time I’ve been this upset with/disappointed in him since we first started talking back in November.

My question is: do I talk to him about it or do I just get over this whole thing and let it go?

I realize how silly it is for me to be upset over something like this, hence my trepidations in letting him know that I’m disappointed. But then again, I can’t help how I feel.

I guess I just need an impartial party’s opinion.

Thank you in advance!

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