What advice do you give to a friend that might be getting a divorce?

Asked by chelle21689 (7907) September 14th, 2014 from iPhone

My boyfriend and I met this couple through his car club a couple years ago and we became really good friends with them. Well me more so with the wife and bf more so with the husband. But I rarely connect with girls and she is different. They live two hours away in another state but sometimes come in town but originally from the west coast (opposite country side)

Anyways, she recently revealed to me that they’re going through very rough times. They’ve been together 10 years and as of this moment married for one. She found emails from another woman her husband sent flowers and candy to that he claims is a friend. Some girl from far away he met online. He hasn’t met her in person she thinks. I’m just shocked because he didn’t seem that type.

He’s been going out late, not coming home, bought an expensive brand new car which is like 100k, and acting very distant, and recently still talking to the other girl which he still claims is a friend. The asked for a divorce but yesterday said he wanted I work things out.

Only he won’t talk things out and makes excuses saying they have nothing in common anymore, she’s boring now, they’re broken, but won’t talk about how to improve.

My friend just talks to me all day about this and is so heartbroken and I feel terrible. What do i say? Her husband won’t talk things out and gives mixed signals and won’t change. She might leave back home to west coast but doesn’t want a divorce but maybe try separation and let him figure it out.

I feel bad and I’ve said all I could but it’s just the same thing every day. Also, kinda selfish but I would hate to see her leave.