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How can I make friends with this girl who I might have feelings for but don't want to date?

Asked by LastWaterBend (18points) October 5th, 2014

So, I’m in high school, and there’s this really, really pretty girl that I think have a crush on in my Community Service group. She’s a senior and I’m a junior. I don’t actually want to be in a relationship with her or pursue her, though, especially because of the age difference, among other reasons. But I do want to be her friend. Not a boyfriend or anything, just a friend. She’s legitimately one the coolest people I’ve ever met, she’s really chill and funny, and her intelligence is awesome. The thing is, I haven’t really spoken or said much to her outside of things we had to say (introductions, “pass me that bag please, thanks”, a hello, etc-) because of the pseudo-crush thing. I DO actually “like-like” her, I think she’s pretty and I think she’s awesome. There was just a lot to admire. But I don’t want to act on those specific feelings. Just, you know, friendship. If this was anyone else I wanted to be friends with, or try to be friends with, I could do it; I could start a conversation and take things from there. But this subconscious feeling of liking her is such a b-word. I can’t talk to her, I get nervous, lose any courage I have, and just dork out in the background of her life. As I make ten mutual friends to her every day, I just can’t make friends with her. Which sucks, because, as I’ve said, I’m not trying to date her! There’s definitely an issue in that if this WAS a girl I wanted to date, I wouldn’t talk to them, but this isn’t really that issue, and I don’t want to have to deal with that now. I just want to make it so that pursuing her as a friend doesn’t feel exactly the same as “pursuing” a crush. And no, this isn’t really a problem I have with all friends as girls.

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