How to deal with "insulting" advice from a colleague?

I work with a person who will give me advice or explain something that would only be helpful to someone who was, well, really stupid.

For example, she wanted to tell me a story, but first she told me “I don’t know if you know this, but the country has been in a recession…”

Once I was half-heartedly picking through the candy at the top of a candy jar while listening to a question someone was asking me and she said “If there’s a candy you want, you could empty the jar and then it would be easier to get.” I’m sorry, but how stupid would I have to be not to know that – a raccoon knows that.

BTW, I don’t think she is being sarcastic or nasty, it seems to me that she just really thinks she is the smartest person in the room.

I never know how to respond because I need to be professional. I feel it’s odd not to respond at all (maybe not?) and am always worried what others will think if I don’t say anything. Will they think I needed that advice or obvious information?

What would be a professional way to respond – ideally, I’m looking for something that lets people know that I am not brain dead and that does not end up making me sound like a dick. Can it be done or is silence the best option?