Not asked to be in very close friend's bridal party. Should I be honest with her about my feelings?

One of my closest friends is planning an Autumn 2016 wedding to her boyfriend of 10 years and I’m so happy for her.

She and I have been close for about 13 years and have continued our close friendship into our mid-twenties. We live about 4 hours apart and she has a hectic work schedule so we don’t get to see each other as often as we like, but we speak on the phone often, text, and keep in touch via social media several times a week.

I was one of the first people she called when she got engaged and she often calls me to vent about her family, work, her relationship and wedding planning. Conversely, I keep her abreast of things going on in my life and often reach out to her when I need someone to speak to, a shoulder to cry on, etc.

Because of all of this, I was a little hurt and surprised that she didn’t ask me to stand up as a bridesmaid on her wedding day. She asked two of her other friends, even though one of them is moving overseas and may not even make it to the wedding! She also lives several hours away and will not be able to help with any planning etc. The reason she gave for not asking me? I live too far away and she doesn’t want to “inconvenience” me. While it’s true that I live 4 hours south, I visit home often enough and would have been happy to travel for dress fittings, rehearsals and other BM obligations. I’m also self-employed and financially solvent with a flexible work schedule.

I’ll admit, I’m a little hurt and confused, but I didn’t say anything to her about it because I don’t want to add stress to her life. I know that weddings are complicated and political and perhaps she doesn’t want to have more bridesmaids than her fiance has groomsmen, but considering the closeness of her friendship and how often she speaks to me about wedding stuff, I’m a little disappointed that she didn’t ask me to stand up wit her. If I ever have a wedding, I would certainly ask her. :(

I understand that my friend’s wedding will be HER special day, but it’s hard for me to shake the feeling of being slighted. Especially considering that when she first got engaged she told me she “definitely wanted me to be a bridesmaid” and I happily accepted.

I know that most people would tell me to take it gracefully and I want to but I also find it difficult to hide my feelings about this for the next year entirely. Part me wants to say something, but I also want to go about it tactfully. I’d want to come off as positive and supportive rather than upset and offended.

Perhaps I could strike the right balance by saying something like, ” I’m a little hurt that you didn’t consider me for your wedding party, but I’m very happy for you, and I’m going to do everything I can to support you.”

Edited to add: I know that many of you will tell me that I’m being spared a lot of expense and trouble by being a guest rather than in the wedding party, but sadly that doesn’t help to spare my feelings.