Marrying the Man you love without parents blessing?

My situation is as follows: I am 26 chinese american girl who is living with her fiance. We have been together for over 5 years. Long story short: my parents didn’t like him because 1) he isnt asian 2) he didnt have a 6 figure paying job 3) there was a car accident i was involved with and they werent aware of his existence at the time 4) they had met his mom who only believes in happiness and they dont rrally believe in that.

So, moving out was a VERY VERY huge hurdle i had to overcome because my parents had very very strong opinions and control over me actually moving out. They made several threats of disownment and physical threats as well. They were very negative towards our relationship even though they had no solid reason to reject him. Eventually moved out and have slowly worked on my relationship with them.

However, i cannot bring him up in conversation and when i do there is easily cuttable tension. My mom has subtley tried even exluding him from future damily vacations when she happily invites me sister’s new beau.

My dad in the past within the last 4–6 months stated he wanted to get to know my man better. That I needed to bring him around more. But, he doesnt make any efforts in getting to know about him in any aspect. My fiance laid down all the hands when we moved out letting them know that our door is always open to them, but over time there hasnt been any effort.

My fiance wants to get married, but as a daughter and even taking in the past physical abuse history my family has had….I am too hesitant on going against my parents for the second time. Even after moving out against their wishes; they still went to lengths to be there for me. My fiance’s take on it is that he is scared i am living too much of my life based on whether my parents are happy or not. But, he also doesnt understand my situstion because his parents are separated and he wasnt raised with the same beliefs or really same situation as i have been.

I would love to marry him. Ideally, everyone would be happy and i could walk down that aisle with a traditional small wedding and be on my merry way. But that just isnt happening…

Do i go against my parents yet again and marry him? I just dont know what to do.