Any ways to get over social anxiety?

Asked by travelbabe24 (262) October 22nd, 2015 from iPhone

I am a 20 year old female. When I was a little girl, I was extremely shy. I remember my dad would pressure me to be more outgoing, and in doing so, really left a scar. I gradually got less shy and shy, and now for the most part I’m not shy at all. I can spark up conversations with just about anyone, as long as we are one on one. In fact, at work when working on group projects, I tend to be the leader and I get along great with everyone.

Now I have two problems. I am very introverted, so I HATE small talk, and I HATE big group get-togethers. The other problem is, whenever I am with my dad, or someone who’s outgoing like my dad, and we are in a group of people, I close up. I don’t know why! I just see how extroverted they are, and feel less then them.

Lately I’ve been getting to know this really extroverted guy, Dustin. Last night I went to this party to meet his friends. (As an introvert, parties are hell but I figured it’s good to conquer fears every once and a while). Through out the party, I laughed and threw in comments here and there, always tried to smile and be friendly. But there were some really awkward times where I just stood there next to Dustin while he joked around with his best friend. I didn’t know what they were talking about so I couldn’t chime in, and everyone else was already having their own conversations. It was humiliating. I get the feeling that Dustin was a bit annoyed with me. he ended up dropping me off at my place and then went back to the party. He said he wants to get together this weekend, but I’m too embarrassed to see him again. He doesn’t know that big groups and small talk aren’t my thing.

How do I get over my anxiety? Can I somehow change to be an ambivert? Like I said, if I’m alone meeting people, I’m fine. It’s when I’m with my dad or Dustin, that’s when I clam up because they are so charismatic.

Sorry for the long boring read, just need any advice!