Are emotional abuse scars different from 'being over' someone?

I asked a previous question with some details about my situation and got great answers but it has got me thinking, is there a difference between emotional abuse scars and not actually being over someone?

What I mean is, I had this girlfriend I really loved who did not love me in the end, she manipulated me to such an insane depth I was suicidal for the first time in my life. A big part of this (my other question) was this subtle manipulation of where I was torn down and she was built up, I was never good enough, her as a ‘hot shot flight nurse’ could do no wrong, saw everything there was to see, save everyone there was to save.

I was in a hard spot in my life, no friends (still none) and I was so desperate for attention I believed her words, I still bear those scars of my ‘worthlessness’ and her ‘coolness/value’.

I do NOT miss her at all, and often feel relief like ‘wow, so glad she is gone’ YET here I am 3 months later still caught up on her words believing this stupidity I can’t let go of.

I’m not sure my question if its ‘is this normal’ or ‘how do I erase scars’ or ‘I am not actually over her?’

To add a bit to it, I am going to a conference soon where she is a speaker there…no way I can avoid her, so it has been on my mind a lot.

Thanks, and this site is surprisingly good!