How can I feel like not a complete loser for Thanksgiving?

Hi everyone…

First I want to say thank you for taking the time to read this and any advice or opinions…

I will be going to a Thanksgiving dinner with my family coming up. I am not very close to them (or anyone) in particular. It’s been about 6 or 7 years since I last saw my sisters. I see my dad every couple of months now that I have moved back to Los Angeles. Before a few months ago I did not see or talk to my father in about 2 years. Since moving back to LA, I have been reaching out and spending more time with my mother and father.

I will also be meeting a half-sister of mine (from my dad’s side) that I’ve never met before… She is bringing her husband and 2 kids.

There will be about 14 or so people at this Thanksgiving dinner- maybe more, who knows….

I feel happy and excited to be going…. I really am…. I feel blessed to have a family… However I am somewhat nervous seeing everyone after years and years…..

I feel like I want to be a “success story” when they see me, but I am not there yet…. I feel like a loser sometimes.

I just turned 26 and I’m not close to being married or having a successful career.

I am just getting into acting. This year has been my first year of acting. I am doing a pilot right now and have a lead in a thriller movie. I also take acting classes, have an acting coach. I do background extra work sometimes for money. But as anyone knows- being an actor is extremely difficult. So far I have done well for myself in the first year of acting- however I am not really “successful”.

My older sister Susan is happily married to a LAPD officer. She has a nice big home. 4 beautiful children. Goes to church. Seems like she has it all. They have a very tight loving Christian family… With a white picket fence. I am sure they have their ups and downs…. but seemingly all is well. She is stable.

My other younger sister is 20 and goes to college. She just did a pageant this year. Even though she didn’t win, I feel like she is way more successful than I am. She is actually in school getting a degree.

I don’t have any college degrees besides my acting training…. and I feel like this would make me look like a loser…..

I am sorry If I am venting… I am somewhat scared/nervous to see my family after a hiatus…...... I just want to make a good impression.

I don’t want my family to see or think that I’m a loser. I’m working really hard and struggling to make something of myself. Being an actor is like being your own walking business. It is hard but so far I’ve had a good journey in this. I don’t see myself quitting acting anytime soon.

A month ago I showed my dad my headshots. He looked really proud and happy. I also showed him my different scripts. I showed him the pilot script and the movie script. He seemed happy and proud that I am going for this dream….. but obviously he has concerns as a parent because acting isn’t very stable.

Sorry I am venting. Has anyone else gone through this?

I know I’m not really a loser, but sometimes I feel like I’m one….

I feel like by this age I should have way more :(

I am self-sufficient, have my own apartment, car, pay my own phone bill, etc….. I take care of myself completely and drive my own passions….. but for some reason I can’t help thinking in the back of my mind that I’m a loser :( I just don’t want my family to think this way…......

Thank you for any insight and advice