I can't let go of the girl who I found out was having an affair with me...dont know what to do?

Hey Fluther…Ive had a really hard last couple months, I’ve gone through a lot of changes in my life, new job, new state etc but I was also involved in this girl which I had asked about previously. Long story short, I found out that who I thought was single was in fact married and living with the husband. When I found out, I felt torn apart…I liked her so much and somehow she never felt the need to tell me?

I broke it off with her a while ago, but we crossed paths and it was pretty intense. She was crying so hard about how sorry she was, how she never meant to hurt me, that the marriage is over but only together for the kids. It was so hard, she was saying how she tries to be independent and how embarrassing her situation is and she loved me but here I was judging her. She never meant to get close to people and now she knows why. These words hurt because it felt real hearing from her.

I dont know what to do. I really liked her, the connection is insane, it feels so natural being with her. Yet the fact she is married and didnt tell me until very late hurts, what else was she lying about? She says over and over how this is nothing there beyond economics but…idk. So lost, I feel this deep connection with her, yet her she is essentially unavailable, and I cant take the idea of hurting her bad when I like her. Not sure what to do. Is this intensity ‘real’ or part of the secretive nature (I didnt know until very late, yet still felt extreme)?