How to stop being scared of uncleanliness?

Asked by thisisausername (38) January 30th, 2016 from iPhone

Ok so first things first- I don’t really think I’m germaphobic. I might be, but I don’t think I am. I’m not really scared of germs or getting sick, I’m just afraid of being dirty. And by afraid I mean that I basically have a mini panic attack if I get “dirty” and don’t clean it off.
I fee dirty if I touch anything in public- door handle, chair, bus (can’t even think about going on a bus…), etc. Also, going to the bathroom is a nightmare. While my bathroom isn’t spotless, it’s far from filthy. Even so, I basically have to change any clothing that touches any surface in there. I visit to the throne pretty much requires a whole outfit change. On at hrs enough bathroom talk.
I feel gross even if the thing I’m touching is in my own house. If I touch my shoe I need to wash my hands- I can understand that, I mean who knows what you step in- but thinking you get dirty after your hand brushing a wall is ridiculous.
If I feel dirty, I just need to splash some water of the area to feel clean (mostly). This makes no sense, because I know that a bit of water will not clean enough to do any good (not that there’s anything to wash off, usually).
I don’t know why I fee the way I do. I know that there’s not really anything to be afraid of, but if I don’t wash stuff off it feel like my heart beats really fast (not sure if it really does), my breathing gets a bit weird, and I have this gross sense of panic/terror/general unease wash over me. It’s not fun.
While this is currently a really annoying issue, it’s not a huge problem. However, I worry that it will become one later. This is annoying to me alone, but it also is creating some tension between my parents and I. They’re getting pissed at my incessant washing, and I can’t stand to think about how “unsanitary” they are. They tel me to “just stop”, like it’s something I can turn on and off at will. I hate it more than they do, and wish it could just be normal, but I can’t.
I can’t stand being like this, and I want to do something about it. I’ve tried looking it up, but all I’ve found is stuff about what germaphobic is (I’m probably not looking hard enough (sorry)), which doesn’t really do much good. So, any suggests anyone has to offer would be greatly appreciated. Sorry for such a long and boring description thing.