I know it's not the end of the world, but I have HPV and it makes me really angry. How can I move past it?

My significant other and I have a fabulous relationship and hope to marry and start a family. However, I’m very upset with him right now because I suspect he gave me HPV. Now, this is impossible to prove since there’s no test for men and even if there was, it would not offer definitive proof, but those of you who saw my question some months ago are familiar with the backstory…

http://www.fluther.com/182744/one-of-my-boyfriends-former-hookups-has-aggressive-hpv-and-is/

Anyway, my boyfriend was married before he met me to a woman who was very materialistic and unfaithful. They were together for nearly ten years and married for a year and a half, and over the course of their relationship, she cheated on him numerous times. She also had a history of irregular Pap smears.

After this divorce, he was single for the first time in his adult life and decided to sow his wild oats a bit. This meant hooking up with strippers (who are sex workers, regardless of what he says and yes, often do participate in prostitution in some form or another) and one drunken hookup with a very promiscuous girl with his softball team who has aggressive HPV and has had to have LEEP and cryo-freezing because of it.

Now, I wasn’t exactly a vestal virgin before he met me. I’d had the requisite number of relationships and hookups but got the Gardasil vaccine as a teenager and have a history of clear pap smears.

When I found out that the girl he hooked up with from the softball team has severe HPV, I got very upset and nervous. I was also uninsured and nervous about incurring the cost of a pap smear. I also started worrying that he could carry HPV from his cuckolding ex-wife and the strippers he used to hump.

So after several months of hemming and hawing, I bit the bullet and paid for a pap smear. Lo and behold, I am now the proud owner of HPV!

When I told my boyfriend he vacillated between being very circumspect and apologetic for possibly infecting me to deflecting blame and slut shaming me (“You weren’t exactly a nun when we met either, you know!”)

This could not have come at a worse time. My former OBGYN wants to charge me $1,500 for this a colposcopy and Planned Parenthood is a nightmare to deal with as well.

I’m angry and heartbroken and feel so ashamed.