Why does my family friend defend my rapist ex?

Guys, I’m so upset and I don’t know where to turn. Two years ago, I left an emotionally and sexually abusive relationship that was turning me from a fun-loving person to a paranoid, eggshell-walking shell of myself.

After my mother suddenly died, my ex took advantage of my grief, coerced me into moving to his home country. He isolated me from my friends and family, and frequently raped and molested me against my will. He also kept tabs on my phone and emails to make sure I wasn’t “stabbing him in the back.”

My ex was attractive and could be very charming. He was good at convincing people he was a nice guy. Many of my friends and family saw through the front though and were not fans of his.

All except my best friend’s mom (who was also my dead mother’s close friend) who is very susceptible to flattery (something at which he excelled). He somehow managed to get close to her and told her a lot of lies. Whenever I would try to leave him, he would go to her and she would convince me to stay, telling me that all relationships have problems and I was going to end up alone otherwise. I was in a really vulnerable place having just lost my mom and saw her as a voice of wisdom and authority in her stead. Oh, how stupid I was.

When I finally left him for good, I got a lot of static from her. She refused to acknowledge the fact that my ex was emotionally and sexually abusive to me. I don’t know why she felt so invested in this. She’s very intelligent, cultured, and traveled but has a history of mental illness and tends to like people for very superficial reasons.
Over the past two years, I’ve asked her a couple times to please stop engaging with him on Facebook by liking and commenting on his photos. She has flat out ignored my requests and refuses to even answer me when I ask. This is made interactions with her very uncomfortable, so yesterday I checked in and I noticed she was still liking and commenting on his pictures. I sent her a message that was a little bit more heated telling her that she was “virtually patting my rapist on the back”.

The response I got was nauseating. First, she said “Jesus fucking Christ” and then went on to defend my rapist ex by saying that I used to love him and that I shouldn’t “throw out the good with the bad”. I knew she was batsh*t, but this surprised me.

Although she did agree to stop being in touch with him, I am just beyond sickened that she acted as a rape apologist and refused to believe what I said about the abuse. This person is my best friend’s mother, and I’ve been close to her since I was four years old. I never thought she would be so callous, especially because she self-identifies as a feminist.

Has anyone else had a similar experience where someone you’re close to defends your rapist or abuser? I am so sick about this and feel so violated and actually re-raped. I never expected a family friend to be a trigger like this.