Do you think sex is "supposed" to be "spontaneous?"?

With every male I’ve had sex with, except for the first (which was at a drive in theater and singularly a confusing, unrewarding experience for me) I made the decision to have sex with him well in advance of the first time. With the exception of the first time with my now-husband (I was no longer fertile,) I waited at least 6 months to try and determine if they really liked me, as a person, before I made the decision to have sex with them. I started on birth control then waited two months to make sure it was working the way it was supposed to.
Then we had sex.
After my divorce, I took those same early precautions before I had sex the first time with the guy I started dating about a year after the divorce was final. When he found out, later, that it had been “pre-planned” on my part, he was kind of upset because it wasn’t his idea of what sex is supposed to be, especially first time sex. According to him, you should want sex just because you get so horny you’ll do anything at any moment to get it. The fact that I planned in advance was “anti-climatic” (ha ha) for him. He thought it “conniving” of me, although it didn’t affect our sexual relations for the next 10 years.

To me, being prepared, allowed me to be spontaneous form then on, when the time was right.