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Should I fight for us, do nothing and wait and see, or move on for good?

Asked by Beatrix (50points) March 18th, 2017

I just had an unexpected conversation with my ex.

Background: Together 4 years. He left me 6 months ago. He got into a relationship with someone 10 years younger soon after. We had No Contact for 3 months and he reached out very often even though I didn’t respond. Since being back in touch, he still initiates contact with me every couple of days.

I decided to be honest and told him that when he gets in touch it simply just reminds me how I miss him and hoped he understood. He said he misses me too and then said he didn’t want to go into too much detail but that he knows he’d want us to be together if it weren’t for the fact that he thinks I deserve better. I told him I understood and that what I want for him most of all is to be happy.

He apologised for bringing this up and that he doesn’t want to upset or confuse me. I told him that him being honest and open with me was important to me, but I just had no idea and thought he didn’t feel anything for me in that way anymore. He said he knows if we were together he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself over everything that’s happened, the fact that he left me and got with someone else so quickly. He wanted me to understand that’s the main reason things are the way they are. He said he’s happy with his new partner, but knows things aren’t that simple, as he misses me and still cares about me immensely.

I told him that if he’s happy that’s all I want for him, and if he is happy with his new partner then maybe that means she is the one for him, because if she wasn’t, then he wouldn’t be happy. He then said he was sorry but didn’t want to go into it and was sorry if he came across as confusing. I’m not sure exactly what he meant by that but I told him it was okay and that as long as he was happy that’s the main thing.

…What now, guys? I don’t know if what I said to him was good or not but I was so taken by surprised that I didn’t know what to say or think…

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