How do I tell my family (and my in-laws) that I do not want to eat the food most people eat to celebrate holidays?

(Please remember this is not about my diet, but about talking with my families.)

As some of you may know, I decided to go vegan last year. I went to all the major holidays with my own food and sat there without mentioning my veganism.

A year into my new life I have become much less tolerant of being around food that I see as cruel. When I look at food on the table all I see is needless suffering and death. It hurts me. Sometime so much that I don’t even want to look at it.

I can be rude to my birth family as much as I want (tee hee), but my in-laws are different. They are really wonderful people and I do not want to offend them. I also do not want to avoid the holidays all together. My wife wants me there and I do not want to have to have her to suffer any repercussions because of me.

So, what do I do? I am really not sure how to address this. Lots of people get offended when veganism is even mentioned. And you know me, if someone starts out defensive I will almost immediately start with the questioning of there attitude and this just leads to me saying things that no one wants to hear; in most cases it’s just the truth.

Please give me your advice. I do not need comments about what I choose to not eat.

General Question