Why is love less thrilling when we get older?

Or, maybe the question should be, is it possible to experience love the way we did when we were younger.

Now lots of us I guess live somewhat in the past. But I am well grounded in the present also. I find myself listening to music from the time I was maybe twelve until I was about 19 or 20—and I’ve determined that the reason is because it reminds me of the years when love was a wonder, a mystery, a thrill, and often painful.

I am in a relationship now where love is expressed freely. But there were times in my past when the feelings were so overpowering and so despiring (is that a word ?) that I couldn’t cope with the feelings. I remember the pain of unrequited love and the pain of only the slightest hope of love returned. And I remember going steady—the wonder of everything about the one I loved being very sacred to me. I remember the long hours of waiting and wondering—waiting and wondering also if she was waiting and wondering about me. And the mystery of not understanding her thoughts—her thinking—and desperately wanting to please her.

These were strong feelings I would write about beautifully for hours. Where’s the inspiration?

In some ways, those feelings are exactly what we DON’T want to go through again. They were the bane and torment of our adolescent years—I remember wishing (when I was in my mid teens) that I could be like a dog or some other being—able to give love and loyalty but not the pain of love.

I DO love my girlfriend. But love just ain’t what it used to be. When I hold my girlfriend, I don’t feel the magic, the sacredness, even though I still strive to provide her every need. Something of the mystery. the pain, the sacredness, the wonder—the stuff of lovesongs – just isn’t there. Those silent things of love that speak a language only known to the heart—where the whole world glows and is alive—they just aren’t there. I see them and I act on them but I do not feel them like I did when I was younger.

I want to experience love with my girlfriend like I did all those years ago. But its as if love itself has died.