Okay, I'm a little ashamed of this but I'll ask. I'm really attracted to white women and I really wanna spend the rest of my life with one, is this a messed up thing?

No offence to other races, but I’m really attracted to white women and I’d do anything to prove my love and honesty to the one that I fall in love with (obviously knowing her a little first), but the thing is I’m in Africa, Nigeria, and I feel like its impossible to end up with one because all the ones on the Internet think we all are fake and want something from ‘em, and I dont blame them for it. But it’s really not the case for me; I truthfully don’t wanna gain anything from them. I truly want to be with one because thats what my heart wants, and to experience love. And I’d do anything she would want to prove my honestly and genuineness, anything; lengthy video calls, introducing her to family members via video calls so she can read body languages, e.t.c. Am I being delusional, is this racist?
Can this happen? if so, how? Tell me something, and maybe I can change the way I think if it’s inappropriate or delusional to think this way.