How can i start my own website?

please to give me step by step instructions as to how i can start my own website including the stuff i should watch out for and the necessary step by step information as to how i can get it advertised for people to visit. also if i would wish to decorate my webpage does this process need/call for a scanner and printer? please to put this information in steps and put it in words that even i can understand.
thanks for all your help.