Were you more sad over one parents death than the other?

Is it unusual to be more sad about one parents death than the other? I feel a little guilty that I am more sad over my dad’s death than my mother’s death. I guess it is not like your children where you love them both the same(most of the time). I know my mother loved me but I never heard her actually say it so I took a vow that I would tell my 2 sons every chance I got that I loved them. Maybe my mother’s mom never told her? Anyway to this day it is still somewhat upsetting to me that she never told me…even when I was going thru a divorce and really needed her she wasn’t there for me emotionally. Anyway just thinking of her today and so glad my sons hear those three words more than they would like even now that they are older-25/27.