Any ideas on how to deal with the emptiness you feel when your child is at the other parents home?

Hi All,
My darling daughters Dad and I split when she was 2 years. She’s been seeing him every second weekend now for 4 years and we split school holidays. I always find school holidays so hard. I get depressed every time she stays with him and I’ve found this time particularly hard as she really doesn’t seem to care to much about calling me. When I did call her she was getting ready to watch a movie with her Dad and just said, ‘Sorry Mum can I call you tomorrow… I want to go.’ – she never called me the next day and I just left it but it really hurt. I try and distract myself, by going for walks or cleaning the house etc but all I think about is how she’s doing, if she’s ok, why she didn’t want to talk to me, what if she’s sick, what if something else is going on, etc etc… on the crazy train I go. Then when I do pick her up a I get a rush of relief and I’m suddenly that happy go lucky woman I normally am, I can feel my blood pressure lower and everything is right with the world. Yes, I’m a helicopter parent, and whilst I’m glad she’s having a great time with her Dad, how do I cope with my feelings of being out of control, of rejection (which isn’t what is happening but what feels like is happening) – how do I get myself through the depression that literally follows once she’s at her Dads?

Anyone else get like this?

I do have an anxiety disorder so I’m aware of my rumination and tendency to catastrophize but it still doesn’t help, this awareness, I literally count down the days and am a bit of an emotional grumpy, tired, nervous wreck!