What were some mistakes you made when you were younger to attract whom you wanted to date, that were faux pas, not attractive, or did not yield the intended result?

I didn’t understand girls in my preteen through midteen years. That mystery is what kept me interested I guess.

In my own preteen years, several times I asked girls if they liked me—either in notes or telephone calls. All I ever got was “for a friend.” I didn’t know that girls don’t like guys who need affirmation or ask so directly. Often times, a note would be passed around or end up on the floor.

I also remember trying to impress, trying to act classy and polite, being too silly at attempts at humor, trying to make girls feel sorry for me, and even being forceful to get a semi-girlfriend to skate with me at the skating rink when she saw the date as an opportunity to flirt with everyone else.

Eventually I learned to play it cool, but then I became too demonstrative with feelings. In High School and College I was too nice, and nice guys were boring. No matter how interesting they might really have been or what we had to offer.

Not until I was an adult and it wasn’t as important to me anymore, did girls / women start toning it down and become attracted to more sensitive or romantic guys, if even then. And now that I only understand human nature better, I realized how I must have looked in those days

And women on Fluther—how about you? Were you too forward? too needy? Too competitive with the people you wanted to partner with?

Some might not want to admit these things. Some never had ANY issues. But I suspect that many of us came from fallow inexperience and a place of innocence, from which we learned many bittersweet lessons and turned out able to fully comprehend the needs of those we are drawn to,

Neh—I don’t think I’d ever want to live that again.