If someone calls you, begging for money, do you have the right to dictate what that money is spent on?

I have a friend who is pretty down and out at the moment. She’s always been hardworking, but she’s lost her job (don’t know why) and she’s very actively pursuing another. Long story short, she’s flat broke and has been for a couple of months before she even approached me.

I’ve sent money here and there to help, and advised her to apply for food stamps. The last time I said that she got quite terse and said, “My problems aren’t going to be solved with food.”
I said, “I wasn’t suggesting they would be. It’s just one less thing to worry about.”

I sent her a surprise $100 last night (which wasn’t really easy to do.) She had an interview and I wanted to be sure she had everything she needed for a successful one.

Well, today she sent a text thanking me again, and saying she’s going to the grocery store to buy food (I think I’m supposed to feel sorry for her that she has to beg for food. I don’t.)
That kind of pisses me off. Buy toothpaste and cleaning stuff. Buy toilet paper before you find yourself stealing rolls from gas stations (been there, done that.) Don’t waste it on stuff you can get for free. Stuff your taxes, and mine, have already paid for.

I’m not going to say anything, but I’m not sending her any more money if she’s going to waste it like that.

Is that unfair of me? I mean, maybe she sees it as a point of pride….but I see it as you spend all the money on food…then come begging to people for more money because you don’t have toilet paper. What do you think?

It would be so bad if I had unlimited funds, but I don’t. It’s a bit of a hardship to do this and I don’t want her wasting it.