Do you think that calling an older person "dear" is ageist, insulting and inappropriate?

I am in a etiquette/advice group on FB and today, one of the people in the group said she went to dinner with her family and the waiter called her “dear” two times during the meal. She said afterwards, she chastised him and told him it’s inappropriate and condescending to refer to an older woman as “dear.”

I would not have thought this to be so, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t. I am open minded about possibly being incorrect.

People commenting on the FB group post seemed to either agree with the OP that it’s terrible, and a few (like me) said it’s no big deal. They said it’s a term of endearment, like “hun” or “love.” One person said that a waiter would not deliberately insult a patron since they work for tips. One other person said just because some people feel it’s not ageist doesn’t mean it’s not, just like because some may not think of something as racist doesn’t mean it’s not.

What do you think?