How do you help an elderly person manage their finances and set a secure way for them to see where their money is going?

So my inlaws are going to be moving to our state and my husband will be managing the selling of their home and purchase of a new home and once they are closer they want him to handle their finances.

The big problem with this is they never remember what they spend money on and how much they have left. No matter how many times you tell them. I suspect dementia. His sister uses to manage their finances and they kept always accusing her of stealing their money. I don’t want to see my husband go down this rabbit hole but he says it will be different. I think it will not be different and this will only add stress and the family will think maybe he is stealing from them.

His dad even accused the bank of stealing his money one time because he only had 25 dollars left in his saving. His wife said he probably withdrew the money months ago because he liked to take cash out and hide it in the house and would forget where he put it.

I suspect he understands his memory is not what it was but at the same time he gets very cross with people and is quick to blame them when he may have lost or misplaced things. Especially money.

I’m all for my husband helping but my husband has health issues that get worse when he’s stressed. So I’m hoping someone on fluther has been in that situation and has found a way to make everything go smoothly. Where he can see where the money is going but not have direct access to the money except for what he withdraws.