Anybody else love Cool Whip? I'd perish without it. Or cry.

It’s the creamy texture. Not too heavy; not watery. It’s how it transforms a slice of pumpkin pie from ugly to magnificent. I put a slice of pumpkin pie on a saucer then let my spoon s l i d e slowly into its sensuality . I want to put a quarter cup of it on top but I do have some control. Then I sit in my recliner , turn on “My 600lb Life” or “Dr. Phil” (more on him later) and savor every creamy bite.
I’d like to have a big fat jar of it to smooth on my face and hands. And how about Cool Whip conditioner?