How risky is it for a vaccinated person to visit a non-vaccinated person?

I’m facing a near-future problem and really don’t know what to do.

[Skip to Question starts here to ignore the boring details.]

My father has Parkinson’s and it really impacted his brain. However, over the past year of not seeing him, he has really become less and less “there”. It’s so difficult to only talk with him over the phone, and I have no idea how much he really understands or knows. He’s a shell of his former self, and I really don’t think that whatever it is that is left of him will be around much longer.

This pandemic has been brutal for many reasons, but one is that I can’t just go see him in person and really understand what is going on with him. I can’t just go see him and hug him. Our relationship has had its rocky times over the years, but I just want to be there for him.

Invariably, any time I call him to talk, I’m left emotionally beaten and drowning in tears after the phone call. I just want to get in the car and drive the 2 hours to go see him. But I can’t.

I’m hoping to be eligible for the vaccine on Monday, but there are still shortages here, with people scrambling to find an appointment. Most people are staying up until 2:00am and refreshing sites to try to get appointments.

Anyway, I had suspected that my father would not be getting vaccinated. His wife – and caretaker – is a conservative Christian. She told me that she’s done a lot of research and decided that’s “not safe” and “not necessary”. Her conclusion, which she was very firm on was that people with neurological issues have had adverse effects and died. It’s not going to happen.

When I told her that I need to see him, and I’d be willing to travel there once I’m vaccinated and see him outside physically-distanced, she said that I’m welcome anytime (before or after vaccine) and outdoors or indoors. ugh.

Question starts here

Let’s say I’m fully vaccinated by late May. If my father is still alive, I’m going to be faced with a few options:

a) Never see my father again. He’ll likely be dead or completely gone soon.

b) Visit him with clear instructions that we are to visit outside and distanced.

c) Visit him with intentions to keep distant, but be met with a man who wants to hug me.

d) Just visit him indoors without a mask and just say “fuck it”.

The thing is – if I were vaccinated, but a carrier, I could infect him and he would likely die. He’s in rough shape. It would kill me. Even the thought of infecting his wife is stressful enough.

What would you do? The most rational approach isn’t necessarily the most reasonable for me. There are too many heavy emotions involved. Fuck this.