How do I control my temper?

I have a history of lashing out at the people I love and it causes serious rifts between myself and those I care about. It’s never physically violent but it’s verbally abusive. Sometimes I’m just so fed up with life that I just wanna scream, but end up screaming at the wrong people. I’m also very sensitive to criticism and tend to take things too seriously. Alot of people claim they can’t make jokes with me because I can’t take em. I automatically go on the defensive and assume that people are out to get me. I know I need help but where do I start?