Man tension. How to resolve it?

This happens every so often with guys I meet and become friends with where there’s sort of an unspoken tension that uncomfortably vacillates between dominance and submission. It’s the kind of thing where you feel forced to either mad dog the guy (to one degree or another) or be submissive by breaking your gaze first. And no, it’s not sexual, and it’s not overtly confrontational—it’s more of a below the surface tension in the midst of friendly conversation. Sort of a one-upping thing, but nonverbal, and sometimes related to my own insecurities and (I think) sometimes not. Make sense? Anyway, how does one resolve that when more direct confrontation really isn’t appropriate?