Will I be Brave enough next time?

I went to the shop at lunch time to get some rolls, ham, tomatoes, yoghurt; for my son’s lunch. So i’m stood at the checkout and there’s this young guy (about 23) with his two (maybe 3) year old son in front of me. He is buying bread and bacon, some sweets for his son and something else i can’t remember. His card gets declined… my heart falls through the floor for him He asks the cashier to try again… I’m remembering that he was at the cash point outside in front of me then too…and seemed to walk away from the cash point empty handed… oh dear His card is declined twice more…. i think that i could offer him some money, but that he will most likely be embarrassed and refuse it and in any case i’ll look like a mad woman trying to do something truly altruistic, like some sad christian missionary, only to look like a fool when he turns round and says “no thanks” The cashier suggests he try his card in the machine outside, which he says is a good idea; he leaves his shopping, grabs his son’s hand and goes outside.

I decide that I will go outside and offer him some money once I’ve got my shopping. That way there’s no one to see the transaction between the two of us. Therefore no need for any embarrassment. He had already gone when i got outside. Nowhere to be seen.

Now… last night i was looking on my local town’s website to see if they had any homeless people’s charities in the area that i could help out at because i think i have something to learn here… I don’t know why. I’ve never been very particularly charity focused at all… but feel a…pull somehow at the moment. So this happens today and like a bolt out of the sky saying “here lynne here is an opportunity for you to help someone!!” this happens and i… stupid i decline the offer because i am worried…. worried about him feeling embarrassed….and worried about me looking foolish…

I’ve been there before, I know what it feels like to have your card declined at the checkout, I know what it feels like to worry whether you have enough money to buy food for your kid. I’ve let myself down and i’ve let this guy down when i could have helped him.

Will i though be brave enough to offer him the money next time? If of course there is a next time