How do you not seem like an asshole in conversation?

i’m a pretty self-conscious contributor to a discussion.

I always feel that I come off as some kind of “know it all.” I hate to think that anyone believes that I actually believe anything I’m saying too much.

I’m one of those people who always wants to learn a new way of seeing things and am VERY accepting of any and all challenges to my views. I enjoy being open to new ideas. One of my biggest pet peeves is actually having the last word in a conversation.. I tend to avoid it in real life or even preempt it.

On the other hand, I don’t want to seem like I have nothing to say.. because i feel I always do. Especially after processing other people’s opinions. And yes, i love to try to contribute a well thought-out opinion, for better or worse.

So.. what tips and suggestions do you.. er.. suggest so that i can know that I’m always making my not-so-wise-ass comments respectfully and appropriately?

This affects me a lot more in real life.. I tend not to explain myself sometimes. I sometimes come off as shy because of it and I resort to just listening rather than contributing because I feel that I may not be able to say what’s on my mind without offending someone. when i do try to speak, it feels like other voices overpower mine easily and i tend to just not finish my point in silent agony