Send to a Friend

wundayatta's avatar

Has modesty overstayed it's welcome?

Asked by wundayatta (58722points) April 2nd, 2009

I was brought up not to speak on my own behalf; not to sell myself. I was brought up to believe that my actions speak for themselves. Even if I have to describe myself to others (except in a job interview), I should say as little as I can while still being honest.

This upbringing has made it difficult for me to accept compliments, among other things. It has made me very distrustful of people who have any air of braggadocio. I distrust salesmen who I always feel will exagerate the capabilities of whatever it is they are selling.

I think it’s hard to strike a balance between being overconfident, and being overly retiring. But it seems to me that these days, we are moving more and more to a point where we are expected to sell ourselves and brag and boast all the time.

It makes me sick to my stomach to think of doing that. It makes me just as ill to think that I have to mistrust everything other people say about themselves, because they are probably exagerating. Some people say it’s healthy self esteem, but to me it seems like the reverse. The more you brag, the less secure you must feel about yourself.

But perhaps I’m just from a bygone era, and modesty isn’t relevant anymore. What do you think?

Using Fluther

or

Using Email

Separate multiple emails with commas.
We’ll only use these emails for this message.