What are the most unfortunate real names of people you've known?

Some people have ridiculously funny names. These are the kind of names that make you wonder what the parent was thinking.

In high school, my tennis doubles partner’s name was Jon Dumpys. (Jon, you don’t visit this site, do you?) He got made fun of for his name frequently – I sure felt sorry for him. What are your favorite names of real people?

I’m more curious about real names than nicknames, but if you can’t resist sharing a nickname, well, all right, go ahead.