Diplomacy problem: What do I say to my hair stylist?

Asked by Jeruba (55831) April 8th, 2009

I seldom ask advice questions, but—I need some advice. Please read the details before you comment. I apologize for the length. If you’re not interested, please feel free to move on to another question.

If you’ve ever worked in the beauty business, I especially want your opinion.

Background

I’ve been seeing hairdresser Randy faithfully for 20 years. He does a magnificent job on my color, and I just love him personally.

Until a few years ago Randy also did my cut. But he stopped because he said he couldn’t give me what I wanted. I like to try a lot of different things and let a style evolve, so I did often ask for more of this, less of that (at the next visit, not the same visit). However, he took it as a criticism of his work. I couldn’t convince him that wanting a change didn’t mean I was unhappy with his work, so I accepted his decision.

The deal we made was that if I picked someone else at the same salon to do my cut, he’d continue to do my color. I picked Steve, not for his work—they were all unknowns to me—but for his conversation. He was the only one who could carry on an intelligent conversation over the hour’s work.

Steve is also ok with my wanting to try this and that.

Over time Steve has given me some weird cuts that I just had to live with for 5 weeks, but mostly they are okay. I always blamed myself for being unable to explain it better, even with the help of pictures.

However, I have been trying for some time to achieve a certain shape, short but full without squarishness. Randy could never get it. Steve did! Hurray! Two months ago it was just perfect! A little longish on the bottom, but perfect. I was thrilled.

What Happened

Last time I saw Steve, I said the shape was just perfect from the time before, and all I wanted was for him to take off the outgrowth and a little extra off the bottom.

Then we went off chatting about something interesting while he snipped.

When he was done, I was shocked to see that he had taken off all the fullness! Instead of shortening the bottom, he’d left it long, barely touched it, and all the back and sides that had been just perfect were now thinned and flat.

It was like he didn’t even listen to me. I was shocked. I don’t know what I said—not much—but he said, “Oh, didn’t you want me to take off all that weight?”

Irrelevant Factors

We are leaving out of the equation (a) whether he might have thought that what he did was better than what I asked for and (b) the fact that no stylist can actually be expected to get exactly the same results with two cuts.

The Problem

I have an appointment with Randy (color) and Steve (cut) on Friday, day after tomorrow. I have mentally tried out every way I can think of to tell Steve that he did it wrong—that what he gave me last time was the opposite of what I asked for—and that this time I want to try to correct the error and go back to the previous styling.

—The cut he gave me was one of the weird ones and I have struggled with it every day for five weeks.
—I am angry and have been angry with him ever since, but I really don’t want to express that. I am afraid it will come through no matter what I say.
—I don’t want to get fired by Steve after getting fired by Randy (and Steve knows it) and have to go someplace new.
—I don’t want Steve to pull that stunt again.
—I do want Steve to try to restore the shape that was so perfect and that he ruined last time, and I don’t know how to explain it without referring to what he did.
—I am willing to take all the blame for the miscommunication—“I must have given the world’s worst explanation”—but I am afraid it will sound insincere.

The Question

What do I say to Steve on Friday when he steps behind me with the scissors in his hand?

Thank you.