Getting over ex gf / depression questions and thoughts?

I feel as though I just lack the necessary social skills to establish real and lasting relationships. i kind of wish i didn’t have that desire and that i was okay being a “loner” but i can only take so much of that until I begin to crack. i know it goes beyond my ex gf. i’ve kinda of put her on that pedestal as my last shot at having the kind of life i’ve wanted for so long. i have friends but the purposes they serve amounts to very little in the end. i am alone. more than ever. i feel like an outcast. nobody wants to talk to me and i come off as unapproachable at work and parties/bars. i want to go somewhere and be alone and just relax and get my head together but that is not an option. i have to deal with this while going about my day and making whatever money i can. for what purpose? right now, none. i’ve tried many times and sometimes i succeed but in the end im still me and still have many shortcomings. i don’t know what i want other than to be happy. it seems as though everyone else has these basic things figured out. they have the confidence to go out and live wheras I can only take a hit or two and then im out and become a shutin. I crave connection and cannot seem to get it from everyday interactions. I need that closeness that she provided as fucked up as it was. we had a terrible on/off relationship for two years where she cheated on me constantly. terrible things happened and it is completely over now. it’s been over a month. we broke up for five months before but I handled it. this time I can’t seem to. I’m terrible at meetings girls and it just seems like such a long road ahead I don’t think I have enough strength to walk it. I just moved and have four roommates but I don’t know them well enough to talk to them and find myself shutting my door and avoiding them. I figure if i avoid people while I’m like this it’ll cause less damage.

I need advice and I need support ;(

I am on lexapro (four days in seems to not really being doing anything except calming my anger towards her) and I’ve been in therapy for a few months now.