I need help with my current situation and have no idea what to do.

So, there is this guy, for conversation sake his name is “J”, i chased J for about a year when i started to distance myself because i was getting nothing in return. it slipped one night that i felt like i had fallen in love with him and he laughed at me dismissing my feelings and emotions so i felt like no chance. a couple of days later i went out with two friends and one, “T” and i, got a little invovled as in kissey kissey from the amount of alcohol i consumed and from the very obvious feelings of “rebound” that i had imprinted on my forehead. nothing more than kissing happened though. the VERY next day, J tells me that he wants to make something work and that he wants to be with me and give it a shot and i agree because my heart was like “YES FINALLY A CHANCE!!” but then i started the regret for not telling him no. i started to think about how he hurt me and how i was afraid it would happen again and i was scared that i wouldnt be everything he wanted and at the same time i was starting to really like T who i had known prior to the making out at the club and we had been talking and as i was trying to distance myself from J, T and i had gotten really close. i had told T that i wasnt ready for a relationship but i’m not a “friends with benefits person” either and he was fine with it and is just a person that i can hang out with who i feel very comfortable with. Well, after j and i broke up so i can get things straight, every night j would get mad at me and fight with me about anything and everything. the fighting escalated to a point where he pushed me up against a wall and was very violent (pulling my hair, screaming in my face, grabbing my throat, threatening to hit me, calling me a “whore, b*****, manipulator, etc.”) after all that he tells me that “i love you. i dont know what to do to get you off my mind” so i got really scared, having been in an abusive relationship in the past, so i went to a friends house and am currently staying there until things settle down (J and I live together with two other people). Its been two days and T has taken me out last night and the night before and we just hung out. he doesnt know that J was abusive or anything or that we fought but just that i’m not having a good time right now. So, long story short, i dont know what to do. I’ll be getting an apartment by myself but honestly i do love J. I’m hurt by his actions. He said taht he’s goign to work on his anger and stop drinking and that the only reason he’s angry all the time is because he’s frustrated, “you said you loved me but you wont be with me. why?” is what he says to me. i think things would work out between us but i’m scared that in the future he’ll get angry about something and take it out on me. i dont know what to do in this situation. i’m very much in a “sh*t or get off the pot” place in that i must either chose J and work our troubles out or try to see where T and i would go. J has already made it clear that if him and i got together it would be for a long time becuase of how we both feel. I have no idea how T feels but i know he likes me as a person not just @$$ (his actions have shown that). I just need some unbiased advice. i live in a permanent state of unease and anxiety. i need to do something to change that.