In all the different areas of your social life (ie: work, family and friendships, online etc) do you ever feel unimportant or invisible?

How does that make you feel and how do you deal with it?

At the moment I am feeling very out of place in my work enviroment. I have been doing my current job for nearly 2 years but have worked for the company for nearly 4 years (I worked as a receptionist before moving to an office in a different role). I enjoy the actual work but I feel that, even though I have been doing it for nearly 2 years, I don’t fit in. The people I have worked with have been friends for a long time and even though they are friendly to me most of the time they seem to keep me at arms length. For example. I recently asked them what they were doing for lunch and if they fancied joining me. They showed no interest in joining me. I went off to buy my lunch but decided to eat it at my desk by the time I got back to my desk (10 mins max since asking them if they wanted to join me) they had gone to lunch!

As my boss is one of these people I decided that, in my appraisal, I would ask him if he found me irritating or dislikeable as I felt that he and other members of the team didn’t want to include me in more sociable activities. He said no and apologised for making me feel that way. Still, nothing has changed.

It is very clique-y here at the best of times but I feel that after 2 years of doing a good job (according to my appraisals) I should feel like part of the team and not an outsider. At the moment I feel that they are just putting up with me.

What is getting me down is that I am starting to see a pattern in my everyday life as far as not quite fitting in is concerned. I think it is making me feel awkward, socially, now that I have noticed this pattern and so people may pick up on that and want to avoid me.

I feel affected by this online also. Take Fluther for example (and before I go on you all must know that I love this place). The majority of regular users here stand out to me as being well known, extremely liked and important to the Fluther wheel. They would be missed if they didn’t come back for any reason. I want to be one of these people (in life as well as Fluther) but I often feel like I am just on the outside, looking in.

Sorry for the long rant, I am feeling a bit down about this at the moment and so feeling a bit sorry for myself! Please note that NOBODY on Fluther has made me feel awkward or uninvolved I was just using it as an example of a social situation that you could all relate to in order to answer this question as best as you can. I also should mention that when I am talking to people one on one or am with a smaller group of people then I feel more comfortable with myself and the situation.