How do you answer this question: Are you Daddy?

Ok, so I deliberated about asking this question on Fluther because it’s very close to my heart and I think I probably know the answer anyway, the answer for me and my particular situation specifically that is, but I wanted your thoughts too…

For those who don’t know, I’m a single mum of a three year old boy, who has only seen his Daddy 3 times in his life and not at all in the past 18 months. I am surrounded by a very close family, which consists of my mum and dad and both my sisters, who are both married with three children each. We all live in the same small town and spend a lot of time together.

My son was in the bath last night and I’m sat there playing with him and he says, “you mummy”, then “you lynne” and I’m obviously saying “yes darling that’s right…clever boy…” bla bla bla and then he says…“Are you Daddy?”

my heart broke

I’ve always known that the questions would begin to come at some point but didn’t envisage them happening so young and whilst I know that he is probably too young to create the complex concepts that he would need to understand this situation, I just think…how does one begin to explain to a 3 year old about this stuff, without scarring them for life.

My philosophy, as such, is to tell him the truth in the long term but integrating that with what a child needs to know and what’s best for them at each and every stage isn’t quite as straight forward as it might seem…perhaps?

Your thoughts would be most welcome

Thank you x