How to get my sister back in my life again?

Asked by ItalianPrincess1217 (11979) November 21st, 2009 from iPhone

This is hard for me to talk about. I’m very ashamed of what happened but I’m desperate to make it up to my sister and I need some advice.

A few years back I was going through a bit of a rough time. My relationship was falling apart, I felt very alone all the time, and I was a very selfish person. My sister and I didn’t have the best of relationships. She was always the better one (at least in my eyes). She was beautiful, charming, smart, and most importantly she got to live with our father, while I never even received a happy birthday phone call from him. Because of all these things (and because I was an immature, selfish child) I had always resented her a bit.

One night my sister, her boyfriend, and I were hanging out at her boyfriend’s house, drinking and having a good time. She had to leave early in the evening but he insisted that I stay. I was too drunk to drive an hour home. So I stuck around and we drank some more. I let things progress too far and we ended up having sex. I know what a bad person I am. Trust me.

Eventually, against his wishes, I confessed to her what happened. She of course was very upset. She blocked my number, blocked my emails, etc. I was so ashamed of myself. But until recently, it didn’t quite hit me that what I did was absolutely disgusting and wrong. I betrayed my own family member. My sister! Once I realized what I had done, I contacted her mother (my step mom) via email and begged her to talk to my sister for me. I explained everything and crossed my fingers for a phone call.

My step mom got back to me today and informed me she spoke with her but is unsure if my sis will make the call that I’m anxiously awaiting. What is my next move is she doesn’t? Do I head over to her house unannounced? Do I send her flowers on her upcoming birthday? Write another letter? Let’s say she does call me? Where do I begin? I’m sure I’ll have to make it quick or she’ll just get frustrated and hang up.

Without her I feel like part of me is missing. I know I caused this. But I need her to know that I’m not the same person anymore. It was a huge mistake and I wasn’t thinking clearly. I had my head up my ass and I was on a path of self destruction at time. Where do I go from here? Any ideas? How do I fix this?