Showdown between parents and me: Christianity vs Homosexuality. Advice needed (warning: very long story inside)?

Well it’s been a long time since I’ve been on here. Perhaps fittingly enough my return should be marked by a whopper of a question. I’ve struggled with my sexuality for the longest time and it’s only relatively recently that I began to come to terms with what I am.

Of course, while I’ve come to terms with who I am, it doesn’t seem to compute with my religion: Christianity. While it’s given me passing discomfort from time to time (and doesn’t usually interfere with my relationship with my boyfriend), my parents have a huge issue with it. Because of my final examinations my parents have agreed not to talk about it, but now that they’ve ended, I’ll need to confront them and we’ll thrash out the moralities of homosexuality. In order for you guys to help me, I think it would be useful to give some background context.

I have a very sensitive personality, and my parents believe that during my growth, my father was too hard on me. It wasn’t that he didn’t love me; totally the opposite, but he did it in the stern military man way. Harsh and rough. As a result I didn’t feel any love from him. At the same time, I wasn’t mixing around enough with my own peers of my same gender. You see, I had just moved from one country to the other, and the magnitude of it all kinda shocked me into reclusion where I would just hide by myself in the corner and read books silently. This was during my early puberty years (ie the years where all the funny stuff starts happening to your young body). My parents believe that I didn’t get the proper same-gender “attention” and so was craving for it. As I went through puberty this need took on a sexual angle and brought me to become sexually attracted to guys. In essence, in the nature vs nurture debate, my parents are in the middle camp. And up till now, I really don’t see any reason why this theory is wrong, so I’ve gone along with it.

They don’t believe that I chose to be attracted to the same gender, but they believe that I can stop being attracted to guys. And they believe I should. They base what they say on scripture, and they believe in the absolute sanctity of it. You see, they’re Bible-Presbyterians, one of the most conservative Christian denominations you could ever find on God’s Green Earth. So according to them, it’s essential that I change.

Zooming to the present, we’re going to talk soon. And for me, the sooner the better. However, there are things I need to do. I’m currently questioning religion and am going to start on my own quest for the truth out there, which consists of studying all the main different religions of the world. It’s homosexuality which pushed me onto this search, but the goal of trying to find the real deal intrigues me.

I’m not sure how my parents would react to this because they seem to be basing their opinions of homosexuality on what the bible says. So if I were to become Buddhist, what they say would probably lose all its power. But I was wondering if any of you here know of anything which shows that it’s possible to integrate homosexuality and Christianity together. I’ve collected a few things already, but it would be good to get more stuff.

They want me to refrain from homosexuality in the meantime, but I have a boyfriend. He’s given me so much, and he brings so much into my life. If they ask me to refrain from homosexuality that definitely means refraining from him. I’m very against that because the last time I tried that (no prizes for guessing who convinced me to stop it) I was utterly miserable. I don’t want to go through that again. And so this is another sore point with them, the fact that I even have someone before we’ve even resolved this issue.

I’ve had arguments with them. So many arguments. Too many arguments. I’ve cried. My mother has cried, we’ve shouted at each other and I shudder to think that anything like that may happen again, which it might. But my parents say (or at least my father does, he’s the more logical one) that if I can prove their stance wrong they’ll give me their blessings, so it’s a gamble I’m willing to take.

I guess there’re really a few issues I’ve presented here in this question:

1. Is my parents’ theory of how I became gay correct? More broadly speaking, is it nature or nurture? Or which plays the bigger role? Because if it’s nature, then my parents would probably be more hard-pressed to argue against that
Although it’s always possible that they’ll say that just because someone’s predetermined a certain way that doesn’t mean that he can act that way

2. Are Christianity and homosexuality compatible? If so, how?

3. Is Christianity wrong? Because if it is, then to judge me based on my orientation is deeply flawed.
However, this is an avenue I’m not too keen on going down here. Religion is perhaps one of the most explosive debate topics ever and besides, the previous two issues are flamebait enough.

If you’re going to answer, I would seriously appreciate an answer more than one sentence long. This is something really tearing at me and I want to end it. I love my parents deeply and I don’t want to end up living with them feeling like they’ve lost me to the devil or anything like that. I don’t want that sort of rift between us. Therefore, dear collective, because you are all such intelligent people and are more experienced than I am in life (and even if you’re younger than me [I’m looking at you Tink] there’s no reason why you can’t help), I’m asking you for your sincere advice.