Couples and housekeeping. How do you work it out so no one gets cranky?

I’ve lived with what I’d call an average clean person, a super messy one, a super fussy one and in all three homes I was the main housecleaner. My reasoning was in two of the homes, I had more free time/less financial input so housecleaning made me feel like I was pulling my weight. In the one home, I worked much more, made way more money and still did most of the housework because my partner was truly a slob (loveable one) and I could only let things ride so long.

How do you all negotiate who does what and how much? Do you ever feel angry or bitter but keep cleaning because you know you’d never be comfortable with the alternative? Do you ever feel guilty for wanting to make a complaint about the division of chores or the other person’s lack of interest in them? If it’s you who’s the messy one (I’m dying to pick your brains!) what goes through your mind when you see a messy kitchen or spotty bathroom?