What can I do to get my boyfriend to act like he cares again?

When I first met my boyfriend he was very attentive -called me all the time and sent my sexy text messages too throughout the day. Then he even invited me and my kids to go on a trip with him to a foreign country. He seemed really interested in making the kids happy and when in that place he spoke to them about doing it every year. But after we came back, he suddenly got busy with work (or that’s what he said – and to be fair he is very busy running his own business.) Suddenly the text messages stopped and he stopped calling me and also answering me most of the time. He also has very little time for me. I know that he is working all the time and even has meetings until quite late, but now I hardly see him. (we also live in different towns – about an hour and a half away from each other). When he does call me, it is usually brief because he gets interrupted by another call and then he is usually heading into another meeting so he can’t call back soon. This pattern seems to be getting worse and worse. When I have tried to talk to him about though he insists that there is nothing wrong between us and that he is still interested in me but he is just so busy right now.

Before he was urging me to get a job in his town so we could be closer together, but due to the economic crisis jobs are scarce at the moment and it is hard for me to job hunt there while I am supposed to be at work here. At one point, he told me to just get a job for at least a certain amount and he will take care of the housing (pay my rent). I ignored that comment, but later again the job subject came up and I told him that the amount he mentioned was not enough for me to support myself and the kids and pay rent (the city where he lives has crazy rent prices) and he said “I told you I’d take care of that” I got a couple of job interviews after that for around the amount he specified and I asked him again about what he had said – and he assured me that he had meant it. Now suddenly there is a possibility that my current job could transfer me to that city and my current pay is around the amount he specified. Again, I asked him, BEFORE I told my supervisor that I was interested in the transfer, if what we had talked about was still OK with him and he said yes. Then only a week later when the first level of approvals have been given for the transfer he starts backing out. So I asked him – have you changed your mind about wanting me to come there? And he said “no” and then I told him. Listen, I am sorry I didn’t mean to put you on the spot, it’s just that you have several times told me this is what you want so I thought that you wanted to move forward with this relationship. Then he said – “well let me look at the housing prices here now, and then I will see how we can do it” Knowing how busy he was, I found several places that sounded quite affordable (mind you at this point i was planning to pay most of the housing cost and only ask him for help with an small bit over my budget – if possible not at all). I also told him that if he had changed his mind and didn’t want this to let me know right away so I could stop the transfer before it was set in stone. I didn’t want to get stuck. He said sure. Now it has been several days and he hasn’t told me anything. He was supposed to come see me today but hasn’t called me all day. I really don’t know what is going on with him. Why can’t he just break up with me if he doesn’t want me in his life – he is confusing me by acting like this which makes me feel like he isn’t interested, but then saying something different when I try to talk to him honestly about it. I really hate being in this position he has me in now. Also, before him i went through a horrible abusive relationship, and he knows this and I just don’t understand why he is playing with my feelings like this. I really love him, so I would like to find a way to get the upper hand if possible, and get him to take me more seriously. I am planning to stop the transfer now on my own since I can’t wait for him any longer. I am sick of always being the one to call. I am just tired and stressed out and sad now and I want to know what to do to, if possible, turn this around.