Are failing relationships repairable?

Let’s say I’m a 17 year old very confused about life right now. And let’s say that for a while now I’ve been trying to get people in my life to not notice me, not like me… because it’s hurt to have them care about me. And I asked some fluther questions on how to change, so that I’d stop doing that… but I didn’t really change. I mean, I wanted to, partly, but partly I just wanted to keep going in this downward path I set myself, because I was sure, I convinced myself, that I didn’t belong here, and I wanted people to stop trying to make me belong.
Is that crazy? Maybe.
But the more I try to push people away, the more it hurts, and the more them reaching out feels better and better.
And then I got mad at myself for liking all that attention that I didn’t “deserve”... so I’d try and stifle my emotions more and more.
It’s not like I wasn’t trying to change, just that it was just part of me trying, and the other half fighting me. And everyone else continuing to give me attention, trying to help me…

Well, these people around me have finally begun to do what I stupidly wanted them to in the beginning… they’re getting disappointed, and I think they’re just about ready to give up on me.

And it’s just hit me, hard, how much I don’t want them to give up on me. How much I really, really, don’t.

Is it too late to make changes? Is it too late to fix the mess I’ve made of my life? If I do it fast? If you were these people, what would you want me to do?
And how to I get that part of me fighting me from changing to finally shut up… and let me like myself?

Does this make any sense? Sorry to keep looking to you other jellies to help me with my personal issues… but thank you