We have a great connection, but he says he's not over his ex. Was it real? Is there even a chance or possibility?

I met someone who I had an instant connection with. We started seeing each other exclusively. A few months in, he revealed that he thought he was still in love with his ex. They dated for almost 10 years and had been broken up only about a year when we met. She left him and has had a new boyfriend ever since. I didn’t know any of this up front, of course. It slowly seeped out as our relationship progressed and prevented us from moving forward. He kept telling me that he had feelings for me, was interested in me, but then was not ready for a relationship. I ignored it at first since we were having a great time together and he makes me extremely happy.

Over the holidays, however, I was pushing to spend more time with him (as I think is natural during the holidays) and he pushed me away wanting space. I tried to give him what I perceived as space, but he was never clear and I never asked exactly what he wanted.

Fast forward to now, and he’s been talking to his ex on a more frequent basis (at least once a week) and says that he just wants to be friends with me.

I know this is fragmented and sort of a ramble, but I am so hurt and confused because I truly believe our connection is great and then I was unconsciously pushing for a more serious relationship, and now feel as though I completely messed it all up. Like it’s all on me.

I know it’s not possible for us to have a healthy relationship unless/until he gets over his ex, but I am now questioning everything about our relationship. Is it really that easy for him to just push me away and not consider that he ever had feelings for me? He says that we are compatible and “maybe I’m the one” but that he’s pushing me away and doesn’t know why. And is it just me, or is it really strange that he and his ex talk so much when they are no longer together?

I just want to know, is there any possibility or chance to hope that it might work out in the future?